Don't you send me to vm
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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