there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
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Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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