i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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