I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize