omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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