Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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