I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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