Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize