I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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