all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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