I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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