Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize