Screwed.edu
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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