i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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