I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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