drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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