she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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