I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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