Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize