were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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