Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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