i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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