South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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