I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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