As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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