so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
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Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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