K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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