Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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