is your mom at the bar?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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