He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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