Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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