So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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