Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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