who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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