He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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