is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize