Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we should paint friendship bongs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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