Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize