We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize