she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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