Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize