Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize