I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize