there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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