You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize