Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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