I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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