i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize