He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize