I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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